


Gullruten

by HarleyJade



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Brotherly Fluff, Gen, h/c, pie jesu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-17 17:16:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1396084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarleyJade/pseuds/HarleyJade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting the chance to perform at Gullruten the brothers set up a rather extreme sketch... be careful boys, someone could slip at the wrong moment!</p>
<p>Adopted from an idea of and written for Emma (lunsdotter) because she does so many nice things for this Fandom!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok folks, this is my very first try and English is not my motherlanguage and therefore used poorly in this fic T.T Mistakes are finders - keepers ^^
> 
> If you want to follow me on tumblr for (hopefully regular) updates and other geeky and Ylvis - related stuff, I'm "dievollnerdin". 
> 
> This is for you, Emma ^^

Just before Bård entered the stage he patted his brother's back reassuringly. Vegard wound his arm around Bård's to lay a hand on the other's shoulder. They knew that this was big. Gullruten was the comedy event whole Norway would watch. 

The organisation team had called them a few months back, offering them a 6 minutes time frame to fill at the live show. Of course they agreed immediately, with their new, and, to be honest, rather radical show just starting on TV Norge. They could use all the publicity they could get. 

The idea to the sketch was found almost immediatly. They were just trying to find a fitting background voice to back up Vegard's voice in the coming music video for their show. Getting a few good laughs out of this situation the brothers decided to make a sketch about one of them singing falsely during the Gullruten - show. To keep their image as the always fighting and competing brothers alive they decided to let a fight about the false notes escalate. Vegard, always the musical expert, found “Pie Jesu”a fitting song for the sketch. Bård contributed all the violent ideas to the sketch he got by watching to many Tarantino movies.

The evening and therefore the show came quickly. Vegard and Bård were busying themselves by checking on everything for one last time. The pre-recorded background music was delivered to the director of technical operations and ran just fine. The lightning was perfectly timed, the props were lying where they belonged and Vegard's costume was prepared with the pockets of artificial bloods. Now the brothers where running through their stunts one more time. 

Once Bård would be using the “heavy equipment” to create the impression that he was killing Vegard the hardest part was over. The props were working as they were supposed to, they had made sure of that, and they only had to act along to them. The first part was trickier. The stunts were pretty close their bodies to create a realistic fight for the audience. On TV those tricks were easy to fake, since you could just use different camera angles. On a stage they would actually have to touch without hurting the other.

A few days before the show Vegard got cold feet. He wasn't sure any more if the sketch wasn't too extreme, even by their standards. They were practically slaughtering each other on stage, with huge amounts of blood and very realistic looking injuries. 

Bård wasn't having any of this, he even laughed about his older brother's worries. Maybe because he is used to this kind of stuff though his movies, Vegard thought. Anyway, it was too late to think of and prepare another sketch now. 

The show was on, the stage assistant gesticulated to them that their sketch was about to start.  
Bård looked at Vegard reassuringly and went to the middle of the stage. The lights came on and the audience started to cheer. Vegard could see Bård's face lighting up from where he stood backstage. Bård was born for the stage and could fill the whole hall with his presence.

As soon as the music started, Bård swayed slowly to the melodic strings. After six measures he started a perfect lip sync to the lyrics of the hymn. After another two Vegard entered the stage and joined his sibling in the play. The audience was applauding as soon as he entered and Vegard was temporarily blinded by the stage lights, but the well – known feeling of serenity he always had when performing was quickly setting in as he also joined into the song just on time. 

As the audience laughed and cheered at the high notes, he couldn't stop a little smile to come to his face. This was going well, and the people were in for a surprise! He could practically feel his brother cracking up next to him. Vegard started to enjoy this, to perform at one of Norway's biggest award shows was something he could tell his grandchildren when he and Bård were old and grey. Well, minus the bloody parts of the performance. He should maybe remember to never mention this performance before his grandchildren were 18.

On the next high note Bård started the real show. He started poking Vegard and gestured to him to sing higher and to the technical staff to stop the music. 

Once the music was turned off they immediately started to fake an argument. This was one of the hard parts, as Bård was actually singing the high notes now and they kept cracking up during the rehearsals. Vegard participated in the argument, using the most annoyed voice and face he was capable of. He could hear the audience laugh.

Bård started shoving him, and the staged fight was on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took me so long! T.T I had a lot of stress at my university and also with family matters. At a time three weeks ago it looked as if I could lose a whole year to study, my scholarship and my 30 - year old sister who has two kids could turn up to sit in a wheelchair. I just couldn't write back then -.-
> 
> But now everything is fine again, and I will even try to upload the next chapter the day after tommorow!
> 
> Thank you for all the Kudo's, it means a lot since this is my first ff^^ And please don't mind all the mistakes, I couldn't find a beta and I'm not used to English -.-

Vegard took two steps back to make Bård's shove appear to be much harder than it really was. It took a lot of concentration to act as if there was force behind the shoving and to look annoyed and angry and aghast at the same time. As soon as he found his balance he extended his left arm and pushed into his brother's right shoulder, turning his dumbfounded face to the audience. He was rewarded with laughter. Bard recovered quickly from the attack and the brothers turned to each other, so that Bård was able to shove his slightly shorter brother in the chest with both arms, all the while growling obscenities at each other.

Just as Bård's hands connected with his chest he was able to have a look at his brother's face. Bård wore an expression of anger and annoyance, and Vegard had to admit what a great actor his younger brother was. Yet he could see the concentration, but also the happy excitement in Bård's eyes. They had worked long and hard for this, and it was working out nice! The audience was laughing, the technical aspects were taken care of and he was actually having fun, performing on stage and on national live TV. 

Using the momentum, Vegard broke the eye contact to let his chin hit his chest. Looking up again, he took a swing with his right fist and hit his brother in the jaw. Not for real of course, he stopped just short of Bård's face and hit his own left tight with his left arm to distract the audience and create a sound. In the meantime Bård took a round turn and raised his hand to his jaw where his brother had just touched him lightly. The audience gave a shocked laugh, which was just the effect the brothers were hoping for. To the audience it seemed like Vegard was rubbing his arm after the assault, but, in fact, he was checking if the bags of fake blood were still in place. They were, luckily, since they needed them to be ready in the next two minutes.

Starting the dialogue - which was pretty much improvised since they knew what the other would say – Vegard launched into the fight and jumped at his brother's throat. At first verbally, accusing him of embarrassing them in front of the audience, and after a moment physically. 

He raised his right arm as Bård blocked with his left arm, shielding the audience' glances from the fake blows. Even those in the first row wouldn't be able to see that their fight was fake behind their two crossed arms. Bård dealed a punch into Vegard's stomach and Vegard doubled over into Bård' raised arms. He turned his brother around so that the audience only saw his Bård's back. 

Bård raised his right leg and Vegard doubled over as if Bård's knee had hit him square in his stomach. He went to his knees while Bård turned his back on him, seemingly talking to the audience. After rubbing is feigned aches, he bolted up and ran into his brother, griping his right leg and biting into the tight, of course only lightly and carefully so that he didn't break the skin. 

Bård yelled loudly and put on a struggle to get free, but of course he failed, allowing him to let his folded hands crash down on Vegard's neck (more of his back, of course, but it was supposed to look like he had hit hard), and then, when Vegard released his leg, to deal an upper cut into Vegard's nose. 

Of course he missed him by centimeters, knowing full well that this situation was dangerous since Vegard wasn't able to see his movements. At this point his face was hovering just over the ground, as if he needed to recover from the blow to his neck. The audience would most likely see that the stage fight wasn't real at this point, but Bård slapped his thigh to create a sound of flesh hitting flesh and Vegard let himself fall back at just the right time. Bård was satisfied, it didn't always go that fluently during their rehearsals.

Vegard tumbled to the ground and kept lying on his side as if he was dizzy from the punch. He had to admit that it hurt to fall on his shoulder without a mat to cushion the impact, but a good show was always worth a few bruises. He heard Bård rant while he went around him to kick him in the shoulder. In fact it was a mere shoving, but Bård was an expert in exaggerating. Vegard had to learn this the painful way when they were children and he always was blamed on by their mother since Bård always made her think that Vegard almost killed him. 

Vegard almost had to chuckle while he used the momentum of the “kick” to roll onto his back. He was supposed to kick Bård in the face now. This wasn't hard, he only had to raise his foot into the general direction of Bård's face because Bård's back was shielding the action from the audience. Hearing the first people in the crowd laughing hysterically, he felt a surge of optimism run through him. The sketch was great, and the people did like it! And they were almost done with the hard part.

When Vegard made himself watch the recording later he could find a lot of reasons why it went wrong. He was eager to provide a good show and didn't wait till the momentum from his movement had subsided. He raised his foot just a little bit higher and closer towards his brother because he was nervous that their stunts didn't seem real enough. Maybe he was too caught up in his childhood memories or to careless near the end of their physical and dangerous stunt show without the props. 

For him there was only one reason why it went wrong: He had failed.

The first indication that something was wrong was the biting pain in the toes of his right foot. He couldn't place it since he didn't know where he could have hit it. Then he heard Bård's cry of pain. He was supposed to cry out in pain, of course, it just seemed... off. There was more pain in it, more distress and it made an uneasy feeling explode just under his diaphragm. 

He knew this cry, from the one time Bård crashed his bike and lost his teeth, or when he stepped on a rusty nail which embedded itself through his foot. Or all the other times when he was in serious pain. This wasn't a cry of pain that was meant for the stage. Suddenly Vegard knew with what, or whom, his toe had connected.


End file.
